Improving Your Decision Making Skills

In reading How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer, I’ve learned how to make better decisions.  Here are a few of the major discoveries:

1. Most decisions are emotional (unconscious), while we think they are rational (conscious).

2. We may think we are putting others first, but in most decisions, we put ourselves first.

3. Making decisions requires energy.  We make our worst decisions when we are tired, rushed, thirsty or hungry.

4. Since we often make mistakes in our decision making, it’s good to apologize for bad decisions.

5. Sometimes it’s better to go with instinct and sometimes analysis. We need to have the wisdom to “know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” 

6. We never make a decision to get angry.  Recognize we all have quick fuses on some key issues. Learn what yours is.  Take responsibility for getting angry and know it’s usually not somebody else’s fault.

7. A good reason to have a coach, mentor or good friend at work is to be able to talk over past and present decisions and to learn from your mistakes.

If you haven’t signed up yet for the CEO Connect breakfast Memorial to Jeff Zaslow on Friday, March 2, please email me to reserve your spot.

Coach Rob

robertpasick.com

Macho or Mensch: The Male Dilemna

Last week when I attended Jeff Zaslow’s funeral, he was often referred to by family, friends and associates as a true “mensch”.  This led me to think about a dilemma many people experience as they struggle to succeed in the workplace, whether to be macho or to be a mensch.

To be tough and competitive (macho) or kind and thoughtful (mensch)?

To win at all costs (macho) or to do the right thing no matter what the cost (mensch)?

These are the challenges facing young leaders (male and female) in today’s corporate environment.

Here’s are some questions to ask yourself about which type of environment you are creating.

1. As a leader, are you doing all you can do to create an environment where you and your employees can act like mensches?

2. To what extent do you require your employees to be “macho”, tough, never showing vulnerability, and working as hard as necessary, no matter what the cost to themselves and their families?

3. Have you been able to find a balance between the two which works for your organization?

I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on the “macho or mensch” dilemma. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page. 

Coach Rob

robertpasick.com

Jeff Zaslow's Words of Wisdom

Today I attended the funeral of my friend, Jeff Zaslow. His beloved three daughters fought back tears to speak about how Jeff’s spirit will live on through his words and loving deeds.  Here are some of his words of    wisdom they mentioned:

1. Life is too short to stay mad all the time

2. Show your interest in people by asking thoughtful questions

3. Make people laugh loud and hardy

4. Learn to give guidance without telling people what to do

5. Always have time for the people you love

6. When you leave the house or hang up the phone, tell the people you love that you love them…because you never know…

I know many of you are fans of Jeff and are very sad about his tragic death. Please share your favorite Jeff saying or stories by responding through email, on my Facebook or here on my blog.  I will compile them and send to his family. I am also planning to host a memorial celebration for Jeff’s life on March 2, the day Jeff has been scheduled to speak at CEO Connect.

Coach Rob

Managing Stress

With money so tight, technology increasing at such a rapid rate, and fewer people available to do more work, people experience excessive stress in organizations. Try this experiment for the next month.

1. Keep track of at least three daily abundances in your life. Write them down in longhand rather than entering them on the computer.

2. Ask each of your direct reports to write down three daily abundances at work or at home. Review these weekly with your director reports and ask them what you can do to help them add more abundances at work.

3.Try the same experiment at home with your family members (and your pets, if you talk to them).

Daily abundances can include anything you feel good about: accomplishments, helping someone,              compliments, random acts of beauty and kindness.

I have been doing this exercise for the past 15 years and it has helped me be happier, more productive, and less grumpy. Please let me know how this experiment turns out for you.  I’m interested in hearing your suggestions on managing stress. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page. 

Coach Rob

www.robertpasick.com

Living Life Right

My wife's father, Theodore Roosevelt Carino, passed away last week. Here are some tips that I learned from him about living life right.

1. Enjoy life fully

2. Marry a good partner and stick with her/him

3. Pick a hobby and learn to perfect it

4. Be early to all events

5. Slow down while driving

6. Keep your eye on the ball

7. Let music be the language of love

I’m interested in hearing your suggestions for living life right. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page. 

Coach Rob

www.robertpasick.com

Only So Much Willpower in the Tank

Paying attention, making decisions, sticking to resolutions and a few hundred other brain activities all require willpower.

Research on the brain shows that we only have so much willpower per day. Imagine that each day you start with a full cup of willpower.  Just getting out of bed uses up some, answering email more, driving and listening to the radio or talking on your cell phone even more.  Your cup is constantly draining and despite how much coffee you drink or exercise you do (which requires willpower) you cannot replenish it.

So, what can you do:

1. Make important decisions in the morning, not late in the day.

2. Eat and drink well during the day.  If you wait to eat at night, you will not have enough willpower to avoid overeating.

3. Remember, if you multi-task, you are draining extra willpower.  Try doing one thing at a time.

4. Avoid difficult conversation late in the day or at night.  Your lack of willpower makes it harder to control your emotions.

5. Associate with people who provide positive energy.  Dealing with negative people drains your willpower, as you try to hold back from reacting to them negatively.

I’m interested in hearing your suggestions for managing willpower. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page. 

Coach Rob

For more information on Coach Rob, please visit robertpasick.com.

Setting Expectations

We carry within ourselves two minds. One is a present mind and the other is a future mind.  We often gravitate toward the future mind which is the part of ourselves that sets expectations. While these expectations can be too high, too low, or just right, inaccurate expectations can be a major source of unhappiness. So what can we do to better manage our expectations? Here are a few suggestions:

1. To avoid being your own worse enemy, don’t  expect more from others than you expect from yourself.

2. Learn and repeat often the “Serenity Prayer.”

3. Expect the unexpected from other people.

4. Much like ourselves, other people are imperfect human beings, prone to mistakes, moods, and misunderstandings. If you expect others to be even and consistent in their temperament, you’re likely to be disappointed.

5. Take a good look at what you worry about. Now ask yourself, how often has what I have been worried about come true? So, then why are you spending so much time worrying?

6. Rely on yourself for affirmation rather than depending on   positive strokes from others.

7. Cherish the past, dream the future, but enjoy the present   moment. After all, as they say, isn’t that why they call it “the present”?

8. My dear friend, Jo Ann Allen, who died unexpectedly at age 70, used to remind me of her favorite joke “How do you make God laugh?” answer, “tell her your plans”....

I’m interested in hearing your suggestions for managing expectations. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page. 

Coach Rob