Learn How To Relax

An important part of maintaining emotional control and staying healthy is learning to relax and pace yourself. Going full tilt, all the time, with no rest can lead to getting sick, making mistakes, or jeopardizing key family relationships. Here are a few of Dr. Rob’s favorite tips on how to take better care of yourself and to learn to relax:

1. I teach my clients how to meditate

2. I teach the process of self-reflection through journaling

3. I encourage my clients to schedule regular date nights with their significant other and one-to-one time with each of their children, including grown children

4. I encourage taking naps

5. I make sure my clients take all of their vacation

6. I suggest my clients take a 15 minute break every 90 minutes

7. I emphasize getting enough sleep (8 hours is the best)

For more about maintaining emotional well-being, take a look at my video on emotional intelligence and also read Tony Schwartz’s article “Relax! You’ll Be More Productive” (see links below).

LINK TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qfx_aFLfhw

LINK TO ARTICLE: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/10/opinion/sunday/relax-youll-be-more-productive.html?_r=0

Coach Rob

rob@leadersconnect.com

www.robertpasick.com

Do You Know How Others Experience You?

Several years ago, I worked with a leader who thought she was an open and honest person. Yet, when I talked to her coworkers, I heard repeatedly that they did not trust her. They felt that she shaded the truth, hid things from them, and talked about them behind their backs. When I gave her the feedback, she was shocked.

Here are some suggestions I gave her on how to understand herself better and to see herself through the eyes of others?

1. At the end of conversations, ask for feedback on how well the conversation was received by the other party.

2. Listen to the feedback without defending yourself.

3. Act on the feedback by trying to improve yourself and not by an act of retribution toward the person providing feedback.

4. Don’t tell people you are “open and should be trusted”. Work to earn their trust.

5. Remember one act of dishonesty can ruin trust that has been built up over years.

For more on emotional intelligence, please see my video on emotional intelligence which I recently did for U of M Alumni Association.

Coach Rob

rob@leadersconnect.com

www.robertpasick.com

More on Emotional Intelligence

Some leaders tend to be competitive, hard-driving people. While they may have high IQs and technical skills, their emotional skills lag far    behind. They tend to be folks who are weak in their  ability to manage their emotions. They fly off the handle in an instant. They make no  attempt to rein themselves in. They believe yelling and intimidating is the best way to manage people and they may be totally clueless on the impact they are having on others. So, what can you do if you have to work with a   person who cannot manage his/her emotions?

1. First and foremost, set limits. Explain that their behavior is upsetting to you and you refuse to be treated in an abusive or disrespectful way.

2. Consistently, every time you are treated in this manner, make a clear statement that this is not acceptable.

3. When you feel like you are being belittled or attacked, refuse to get into a situation where you are counter attacking. The leader will be more adept arguing and you probably will end up feeling worse.

4. Be consistent in refusing to respond to belittling and abusive behavior.

5. If the behavior persists, Seek out help from someone in the organization. If that is impossible, seek help from an executive coach.

For more ideas on dealing with folk who cannot manage their emotions, please click on the link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qfx_aFLfhw) to watch my videotape recorded  for the University of Michigan Alumni Association. Also join in the conversation by posting commentary about your ideas on dealing with the situation.

Coach Rob Pasick

Email: rob@leadersconnect.com

Website: www.robertpasick.com

Best Practices for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence

This week I will be doing two live chats on emotional intelligence for the U of M Alumni Association. If you are an alumni, you can sign up for these at http://alumni.umich.edu/events/lifelong-learning-winter-2013. Also, you can see my 13 minute U of M Alumni talk on emotional intelligence on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qfx_aFLfhw. Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing the 10 best practices for  improving your emotional intelligence. I would appreciate if you could post your comments or suggestions on my blog.

To enhance self-awareness:

1. Practice some form of self reflection

a. Meditate or prayer

b. Write about your feelings

c. Talk to others about your feelings and listen, really listen, to their feedback

2.   Set goals – write down what, why, how, and when.

3.   (Please add your suggestions.)

Coach Rob

rob@leadersconnect.com

www.robertpasick.com

Maintaining and Strengthening Your Online Identity

This week the noted journalist, Doron Levin, will be presenting at Rob Pasick’s CEO Connect on “Maintaining Your Online Identity”. Please email me if you would like to attend. Here are his five key tips for maintaining and strengthening your online identity:

1. Until you know how to use a social media platform, stay off it. By all means study, observe and gain facility -- but don't start tweeting, posting, blogging until you know the rules of the road.

2. Good writing in the digital world is no different than good writing on paper. Good writing often is a reflection of good thinking, so consider and reflect carefully on what it is you wish to say. It never hurts to let someone whom you trust and respect read a draft before posting.

3. Humor is very difficult to achieve successfully and very easy to flub. If you're funny, then have it. Otherwise, better to be yourself.

4. Be considerate to your readers, in terms of length, approach and subject matter. While it's important to have a definite point of view, it's much easier to lose a reader than to gain one.  

5. Remember always to reflect your best self in your posts, the self that is the ideal of what you think a person should be, embodying the values that you were taught --- and that you teach others.

Link to CEO Connect event: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/5180330508.

Coach Rob

rob@leadersconnect.com

www.robertpasick.com

How To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Today the U of M Alumni Association is launching an online video of me teaching about emotional intelligence at work and at home. Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing strategies for improving your emotional intelligence.

1. Seek feedback from significant others. Ask  people who know you well to give you       feedback on how well you: understand your own emotions, manage your emotions, display empathy, and manage relationships.

2. Keep an emotional intelligence journal: record your mood on a daily basis, describe and     analyze critical emotional events, record suggestions and ideas on how you can better manage your emotions.

Feel free to contact me if you’d like to learn more about how to assess your own emotional           intelligence.

Coach Rob

rob@leadersconnect.com

www.robertpasick.com

Family New Year’s Resolutions

This year make family New Year's resolutions. A fun way to start the new year just to talk to your family about what New Year's resolutions each person would like to make. I have found that if you make resolutions as part of the family, everyone is much more likely to succeed. Here is the process.

1. Ask each family member what they are most proud of during 2012.

2. Ask each person what they are most hopeful about achieving in 2013.

3. Ask each person what they would like to see as a family goal for 2013.

4. Write down these goals and share them with the family members, either as an email or better yet, as a nice written document.

5. If your family is not all in one place, do this exercise via email or the phone.

Coach Rob Pasick

Email: rob@leadersconnect.com

Website: www.robertpasick.com