DR. ROB'S MONDAY MORNING TIPS

Improving Your Decision Making Skills

2012-02-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

In reading How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer, I’ve learned how to make better decisions. Here are a few of the major discoveries:

1. Most decisions are emotional (unconscious), while we think they are rational (conscious).

2. We may think we are putting others first, but in most decisions, we put ourselves first.

3. Making decisions requires energy. We make our worst decisions when we are tired, rushed, thirsty or hungry.

4. Since we often make mistakes in our decision making, it’s good to apologize for bad decisions.

5. Sometimes it’s better to go with instinct and sometimes analysis. We need to have the wisdom to “know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run.”

6. We never make a decision to get angry. Recognize we all have quick fuses on some key issues. Learn what yours is. Take responsibility for getting angry and know it’s usually not somebody else’s fault.

7. A good reason to have a coach, mentor or good friend at work is to be able to talk over past and present decisions and to learn from your mistakes.

If you haven’t signed up yet for the CEO Connect breakfast Memorial to Jeff Zaslow on Friday, March 2, please email me to reserve your spot.

Coach Rob

robertpasick.com

Macho or Mensch: The Male Dilemna

2012-02-20T11:30:00.000-08:00

Last week when I attended Jeff Zaslow’s funeral, he was often referred to by family, friends and associates as a true “mensch”. This led me to think about a dilemma many people experience as they struggle to succeed in the workplace, whether to be macho or to be a mensch.

To be tough and competitive (macho) or kind and thoughtful (mensch)?

To win at all costs (macho) or to do the right thing no matter what the cost (mensch)?

These are the challenges facing young leaders (male and female) in today’s corporate environment.

Here’s are some questions to ask yourself about which type of environment you are creating.

1. As a leader, are you doing all you can do to create an environment where you and your employees can act like mensches?

2. To what extent do you require your employees to be “macho”, tough, never showing vulnerability, and working as hard as necessary, no matter what the cost to themselves and their families?

3. Have you been able to find a balance between the two which works for your organization?

I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on the “macho or mensch” dilemma. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page.

Coach Rob

robertpasick.com

Jeff Zaslow's Words of Wisdom

2012-02-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

Today I attended the funeral of my friend, Jeff Zaslow. His beloved three daughters fought back tears to speak about how Jeff’s spirit will live on through his words and loving deeds. Here are some of his words of wisdom they mentioned:

1. Life is too short to stay mad all the time

2. Show your interest in people by asking thoughtful questions

3. Make people laugh loud and hardy

4. Learn to give guidance without telling people what to do

5. Always have time for the people you love

6. When you leave the house or hang up the phone, tell the people you love that you love them…because you never know…

I know many of you are fans of Jeff and are very sad about his tragic death. Please share your favorite Jeff saying or stories by responding through email, on my Facebook or here on my blog. I will compile them and send to his family. I am also planning to host a memorial celebration for Jeff’s life on March 2, the day Jeff has been scheduled to speak at CEO Connect.

Coach Rob

Managing Stress

2012-02-06T12:11:00.001-08:00

With money so tight, technology increasing at such a rapid rate, and fewer people available to do more work, people experience excessive stress in organizations. Try this experiment for the next month.

1. Keep track of at least three daily abundances in your life. Write them down in longhand rather than entering them on the computer.

2. Ask each of your direct reports to write down three daily abundances at work or at home. Review these weekly with your director reports and ask them what you can do to help them add more abundances at work.

3.Try the same experiment at home with your family members (and your pets, if you talk to them).

Daily abundances can include anything you feel good about: accomplishments, helping someone, compliments, random acts of beauty and kindness.

I have been doing this exercise for the past 15 years and it has helped me be happier, more productive, and less grumpy. Please let me know how this experiment turns out for you. I’m interested in hearing your suggestions on managing stress. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page.

Coach Rob

www.robertpasick.com

Living Life Right

2012-01-30T10:45:00.001-08:00

My wife's father, Theodore Roosevelt Carino, passed away last week. Here are some tips that I learned from him about living life right.

1. Enjoy life fully

2. Marry a good partner and stick with her/him

3. Pick a hobby and learn to perfect it

4. Be early to all events

5. Slow down while driving

6. Keep your eye on the ball

7. Let music be the language of love

I’m interested in hearing your suggestions for living life right. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page.

Coach Rob

www.robertpasick.com

Only So Much Willpower in the Tank

2012-01-23T11:28:00.000-08:00

Paying attention, making decisions, sticking to resolutions and a few hundred other brain activities all require willpower.

Research on the brain shows that we only have so much willpower per day. Imagine that each day you start with a full cup of willpower. Just getting out of bed uses up some, answering email more, driving and listening to the radio or talking on your cell phone even more. Your cup is constantly draining and despite how much coffee you drink or exercise you do (which requires willpower) you cannot replenish it.

So, what can you do:

1. Make important decisions in the morning, not late in the day.

2. Eat and drink well during the day. If you wait to eat at night, you will not have enough willpower to avoid overeating.

3. Remember, if you multi-task, you are draining extra willpower. Try doing one thing at a time.

4. Avoid difficult conversation late in the day or at night. Your lack of willpower makes it harder to control your emotions.

5. Associate with people who provide positive energy. Dealing with negative people drains your willpower, as you try to hold back from reacting to them negatively.

I’m interested in hearing your suggestions for managing willpower. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page.

Coach Rob

For more information on Coach Rob, please visit robertpasick.com.

Setting Expectations

2012-01-16T11:07:00.001-08:00

We carry within ourselves two minds. One is a present mind and the other is a future mind. We often gravitate toward the future mind which is the part of ourselves that sets expectations. While these expectations can be too high, too low, or just right, inaccurate expectations can be a major source of unhappiness. So what can we do to better manage our expectations? Here are a few suggestions:

1. To avoid being your own worse enemy, don’t expect more from others than you expect from yourself.

2. Learn and repeat often the “Serenity Prayer.”

3. Expect the unexpected from other people.

4. Much like ourselves, other people are imperfect human beings, prone to mistakes, moods, and misunderstandings. If you expect others to be even and consistent in their temperament, you’re likely to be disappointed.

5. Take a good look at what you worry about. Now ask yourself, how often has what I have been worried about come true? So, then why are you spending so much time worrying?

6. Rely on yourself for affirmation rather than depending on positive strokes from others.

7. Cherish the past, dream the future, but enjoy the present moment. After all, as they say, isn’t that why they call it “the present”?

8. My dear friend, Jo Ann Allen, who died unexpectedly at age 70, used to remind me of her favorite joke “How do you make God laugh?” answer, “tell her your plans”....

I’m interested in hearing your suggestions for managing expectations. Please join the conversation here or on my Facebook page.

Coach Rob

What is your best tip about how to achieve your goals?

2012-01-09T12:46:00.000-08:00

Today I post a question: What is your best tip about how to achieve your goals?

Here are a few of the responses I received when I recently posted this question on my Facebook page:

1. Set a reasonable time limit so you don’t get discouraged ~ Christy

2. Imagine that you have already achieved your goal. Now look back to imagine what steps you would have taken. This will help you diagram your path. ~ Frank

3. Understand your resistance to change. ~ Ed

4. Motivation is easy, it’s follow-through that’s difficult. Ask yourself what you need to do to follow through and sustain change. ~Thorana

From neuroscience I have learned that we have a limited supply of willpower every day. Therefore:

· Work on your goals early in the day when your energy is high

· Be realistic about how many goals you can focus on at one time (one may be enough)

· Keep up your glucose level throughout the day by eating well (it’s better to eat breakfast and small frequent meals than to overeat in the evening)

Please join the conversation. Submit your suggestion via Facebook or post on my blog.

Coach Rob

Year-End Self Reflection

2012-01-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

This week is a good time to reflect on how well you lived your life in 2011 and what your hopes are for 2012. Here are some questions to help you in your reflection:

1. How did I do on improving my key relationships: family (spouse and children), friends, relatives and community?

2. How did I do on managing my health this year: mentally, physically and spiritually?

3. How did I do on making progress at work: new accomplishments, continuing accomplishments and continuing frustrations?

4. How did I do on improving my financial well being?

5. How did I do on self management: time, energy, habits and blind spots?

6. Did I make progress on achieving my Big Dream?

7. How did I do on managing the unexpected, both positive and negative unexpected events?

8. What are my opportunities for improvement for next year?

9. What are the possible threats to making progress for next year?

10. What are my goals for the new year?

To help you in this self-reflection process, I am now setting up year-end review appointments for past, present or future clients. If you would like to set up a time to review last year and plan for next, please contact me to set up an appointment in January. Also, there are also still a few spots open in the Goal Cultivating workshop on January 10.

Happy New Year!

Coach Rob

For more information on Dr. Rob, please visit Rob's website.

Develop Positive Daily Practices and Rituals

2011-12-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

Many leaders work at balancing their lives through what they call daily practices. These can be tiny habits or big ones. Usually they are sprinkled throughout the day as a way to rejuvenate yourself and reconnect, if only for a moment.

Playbook:

· Keep a checklist of replenishing activities (eg walk, stretch, nap, meditate, pray, etc.)

· When you read or hear a useful idea, write it down.

· In any encounter with a family member, search for what you can learn, enjoy and appreciate.

· Use your calendar to keep track of your daily abundances or gratitudes.

· Use Apps like “CheckLists” to help you remember positive rituals you are trying to practice.

I will be presenting a workshop on “The New Science of Goal Setting” on Tuesday, January 10. Please look for a formal invitation forthcoming this week.

Happy Holidays!

Coach Rob

Importance of Goal Setting in the New Year

2011-12-12T13:07:00.001-08:00

Everywhere I go, I hear the same refrain:

We are working as hard as we can
We have so many things to do, it’s hard to keep our goals straight

What can you do?

Rest over the holidays and let your employees rest
Set clear goals for the new year

To help you set your goals, please attend a free Goalsetting workshop on Monday, January 9. Iwill be presenting a workshop on “The New Science of Goal Setting”. The action step will be that everyone willleave the workshop with one goal in each of the following categories:

Work
Family
Health
Creativity and Generatively
Community

I will also be following this workshop up with quarterlymeetings to help participants stick with and achieve their goals. A formal invitation will be sent to members of the CEO Connect community viaEventbrite.

Coach Rob

Window and the Mirror

2011-12-05T10:31:00.001-08:00

In “Good to Great,” Jim Collins uses the concept of the window and mirror. When things go well, great leaders look out the window and give credit to their team and employees for the success. However, when things don’t go so well, leaders look first in the mirror to accept responsibility. Ultimately the leader is the one that has to be accountable.

I have used this technique many times in coaching, because it is so illuminating and the image so easy to grasp. Clients have reported dramatic changes when they start to incorporate this into their thinking. They set their egos aside and give credit where it is due. They retrain their minds so they don’t automatically blame others for failures or glitches.

THE PLAYBOOK

· Consistently give credit for successes to your team.

· After a failure, scrutinize your own actions first.

· Just keep telling yourself it’s not all about you.

For a great holiday gift for anyone who has ever loved and lost a pet, please consider my book Conversations With My Old Dog. http://www.readthespirit.com/book-for-dog-lovers

Help One Individual Find A Job

2011-11-28T11:45:00.001-08:00

Problems may be global, but solutions are local, starting with one individual. Right now, our major global problem is unemployment. A solution is for each individual reading this email to help one individual find a job.

PLAYBOOK:

1. Reach out to one individual to help him or her find a job.

2. Coach, mentor, inspire and offer to help for as long as it takes for them to find a job.

3. If you can offer someone any work, do so, even if it’s part-time, or a “low-pay” internship to get them started.

4. Remember what it was like for you when you were out of work—what help would you have liked?

5. Send any suggestions to me that you may have on how to address the unemployment problem and I will post them on my blog.

The New Golden Rule

2011-11-21T09:50:00.001-08:00

The standard Golden Rule is: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s still a good one, but the Gallup Organization added a New Golden Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them. Too often we try to motivate people by a reward which motivates ourselves rather than a reward which motivates the other person. These are often not the same.

There are three rewards which tend to motivate people: achievement (winning at competition), affiliation (being part of a team) and power (status, influence). Usually two of these motivators are strong in a person and the third isn’t. So if you use a reward system built on just one thing, you’re not likely to motivate everybody.

THE PLAYBOOK

1. Talk about the three motivators with your team. Ask them which ones are their prime motivators.

2. At home, be sensitive to what motivates each family member. One person may respond very well to affection but someone else may react much more positively when you give them a hand with a task.

3. Ask yourself, what are your prime motivators?

Coach Rob

Keeping Perspective

2011-11-14T12:58:00.001-08:00

When I try to help the coaching clients, one thing I must continue to remind them and myself as well is to keep perspective.

As tough as we have it, most everybody else has it tougher than we do. This week I have noticed a few perspectives to keep in mind:

1. Be especially thoughtful and kind to your administrative assistant. They have to do much of your tough work without having your power.

2. Deeply, deeply appreciate your humility and bristle at any sign of arrogance.

3. You have a big voice. Give others the chance to have their voice as well.

4. Don't forget that you don't only work purely for financial gain nor does your company. Does your company strive to make a difference in this troubled world?

5. This is not about you.

6. Tomorrow you may no longer be sitting on top of the world. Enjoy the view while you have it and be careful not to fall off.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Jeff Zaslow’s latest book, GABBY: A Story of Courage and Hope, (the memoir of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, astronaut Mark Kelly) will be released this Tuesday, November 15.

Coach Rob

What Neuroscience Can Teach Us About Time and Energy

2011-11-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

For the past several years, I have been fascinated by neuroscience which combines brain research, biology, and psychology. Here are a few key learnings which can be applied to helping you

manage your time and energy better:

1. The brain is capable of making a finite number of decisions each day. There are diminishing returns on the effectiveness of decisions the later in the day they are made. If you have to make key decisions, make them early in the day.

2. The brain needs food which it turns into glucose. As glucose levels drop, so does our ability to think clearly and to manage our emotions. As an example, we tend to be grumpier before meals. So it’s important to feed the beast all day long. Keep healthy snacks in your briefcase and eat several small meals a day.

3. Don't make tough decisions when you're hungry. Don't skimp on calories as you try to deal with more serious problems.

4. “While glucose is the problem, sugar is not the solution. When you eat go for the slow burn: most vegetables, nuts, raw fruit, cheese, fish, meat, olive oil, and other good fats.” Roy Baumeister

5. The brain needs rest. We tend to forget how rejuvenating a 15 minute nap can be. Research shows that the best way to regain energy is to first drink some caffeine and then immediately take a 15 minute nap. It takes 15 minutes for the caffeine to kick in and then you’re rested and ready to go.

Manage Your Energy As Well As Your Time

2011-10-31T09:12:00.001-07:00

I hear people saying, “I don’t have enough time.” As Mary Martin, a business owner in Holland, Mich., says, often what they really mean is they don’t have enough energy. As I coach, I first ask whether my clients feel engaged in their work. Then I ask about any family or health issues that may be preoccupying them. If there are some, I find out if there is any action they can take to resolve them. I also ask whether they are getting enough sleep, enough time at full rest and enough exercise.

These kinds of actions helped these leaders avoid the burnout that so often accompanies people in demanding roles. When you’re a leader, you don’t have to prove yourself with a superhuman effort or superhuman time commitment. Sustainability is more important. And to achieve that, you have to know what re-energizes you. It’s all about discipline and knowing what recharges your batteries.

· If you don’t know what re-energizes you, ask the people around you. Ask your mate what he or she notices about your behavior – when you’re up or down – and what led to it.

· Ask yourself the questions I ask clients: Are you fully engaged in your work? Are there family or health problems that are preoccupying you? Are you getting enough sleep? Enough full rest? Enough exercise? What action can you take now to begin to resolve the problem?

To find more coaching lessons, order www.readthespirit.com/balanced_leadership/

Coach Rob

2011-10-26T04:44:00.001-07:00

Why Facebook is so popular? It's addictive. You post and and are reinforced when you get a "like" or a a comment. It's popularity is based on the psychological concept of intermittent reinforcement, same as a slot machine. Comments or "likes" please and advice on how to stop the FB addiction?

Getting Important Things Done

2011-10-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

Recently, the most frequent pressing problem I am seeing with my coaching clients is “Too much to do, too little time.” In today’s world it is not uncommon to be rewarded for doing well in one role by being given an additional roles, usually with no additional resources provided.

The problem makes me ponder: In these difficult times, what can a leader do to get important things done?

One tip: Instead of setting several goals at a time, set one goal and work on it until you get it done. Research as described in the book Willpower¹, indicates that our mind does not work

effectively if we focus on more than one goal at a time. So, here are a few coaching tips:

1. Set only a few big monthly goals (daily or even weekly is too short a time)

2. Every day work on one piece of the “big goal”. Start early when you are fresh and every day put some concentrated effort into making progress on the goal.

3. Don’t multi-task while working on this goal.

4. The same holds true for family and personal goals. Select only one in each category each month.

Please feel free to share any ideas you have on “getting important things done”.

Coach Rob

¹ Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney available at http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/1594203075/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319477127&sr=8-1